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How do I need the Lord to help me to overcome the spirit of frustration? Let me count the ways!
Last week I was standing in the kitchen, with my husband Mike. We were planning out our weekly meal plan so we could go grocery shopping. In a perfect world, where I have two hands and I am not a quadruple amputee, I would be making our dinners and prepping lunches and doing our grocery shopping during the week, so I could spend weekends “playing” with my family. Let me share the spirit of frustration with you.
That’s not the case in the Wallace household. We have to do all of that on Saturdays. Sunday is the Lord’s day. We go to church in the morning and then go back at 5 o’clock for the evening service. Sunday afternoon is spent in fellowship with family and friends over a nice meal. Its a great day!
The spirit of frustration
So go back to Mike and me in the kitchen planning our meals. I was crying! This is where overcoming the spirit of frustration is necessary. We depend on our daughter Megan, and Mike to cook our dinners. The short straw goes to whoever gets home from work first. I was crying because we were talking about Sunday dinner and he was starting to get frustrated with my ideas. I have a lot of ideas! It saddens me to no end that I cannot do a single thing to help him prepare this big meal or any others in fact. As a quadruple amputee, I don’t have the luxury of cooking for my family. It is completely frustrating to me.
On top of that, there’s a huge laundry list of other things I get saddened over because of my physical limitations. At that moment I decided to make a mental checklist of things that I can no longer do as a quadruple amputee. Don’t get me wrong, Mike likes to cook when he wants to. But now that I can no longer do it, he gets frustrated sometimes. I never blame him. Instead, I get angry and I get super sad.
I know often-times, I talk about overcoming the challenges in my life, which thanks to the strength that I get from the Lord, I think we are doing that fairly well. However, the other side of the story is that this is an ongoing battle, an everyday struggle. There is an overwhelming spirit of frustration in my life. Thanks to some wise words from a friend, she reminded me that my situation is not something that we went through, but it’s something that we go through daily and will continue to do so for the rest of our lives.
So with your permission, I would love to share with you the list of frustrations that I have of living as a quadruple amputee. This, by no means, is the whole list. It’s just the list of immediate frustrations.
Begin rant-I’m sorry!
As someone who strives to be a Proverbs 31 woman, I’ve always believed it’s been my duty to cook, clean, shop, care for the kids, pay the bills and take care of household things while Mike is the provider for the family. That’s not to say that he never did those things too to help. He did! But his main job was the provider and I was caretaker. I also had a business that I ran, mostly to challenge my brain and keep me social. We are a great team.
Enter April 3, 2011, and the 6 months that followed.
This period involved illness, recovery time and learning a new way to live. Once I got my prosthetic legs, about 6 months out I could walk with independence.
There are many things that I can do for which I am overly thankful. This list is by no means, the whole list of things that I can no longer do, but it’s a start.
*I can’t cook for my family
*I can’t clean or do laundry
*I can’t tend to the flowers that I love so much
*I’m very limited in the hobbies that I can do
*I can’t hold or care for future grandchildren. I can hold them, actually if they don’t wiggle too much. But how can I help when my kids start having babies?
*I can barely help around the house
*I can’t go upstairs or downstairs There are parts of my house that I haven’t seen in years, (i.e l. my basement).
*I can’t travel without help
*I can’t visit my kids or dad or sisters unless I have someone to accompany me.
*I can’t care for myself: shower, dress or wash my hair
*I can’t grocery shop alone
That being said, whenever I get in a spirit of frustration and start to feel really down on myself, I am constantly reminded by my children and husband of all the things that I can do. For instance:
*I can walk
*When Mike makes my lunch and snacks ahead of time, I can be independent all day long
*Thanks to the stylus invention we made that straps it to my wrist, I can type, blog, dial the phone, change TV channels and turn pages in a book (check out Amputee Life: 5 Things I do Differently Than You Do )
*I’ve created a great blog and I can do all the necessary things that go along with it
*I can still be a great mom
*When Mike does the washing, I can fold the laundry
*I can drive with a tool for the steering wheel (check out Driving Miss Wendy)
*I can keep my family company while they’re cooking, even if I can’t cook, but I can throw ribs in a crockpot
*I can look up recipes
*I can pay the bills
*I can shop with my family
*I can do all holiday shopping, thanks to the internet
*I can feed myself with a special eating cuff
Do all of these things that I cannot do get done in my family? Absolutely! They get done because I have a loving husband and daughter who pick up where I leave off. The boys are living in other states currently, but they help when they’re here. I thank God daily for my family. However, you have to understand that their frustrations run just as deep as mine do.
My point is that I’m sad that I cannot run the household. So what’s the solution? The title of this post is”Overcoming the Spirit of Frustration in life”. Here’s the solution. I turn to God. I think I put this next scripture in practically every post that I’ve written in this blog. Say it with me: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths”. Proverbs 3:5-6
I don’t know why the burden of my quadruple amputations and my limitations has been placed upon us. That scripture tells me to lean not unto my own understanding. But I do know that “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose”. Romans 8:28
It is enough! It has to be enough!
I may struggle and cry and hurt. Mike and the kids have the same emotions. We all are overwhelmed with frustration. However, God has it all under control. It’s not up to me and I have to trust our great and wonderful Lord.
And so do you! Whatever your struggle, you have to leave your burden at the foot of the cross. No burden is too great for the Lord to carry. So please, please, please…give it to Him and let it go. It’s the only way!
Let’s continue the discussion over on my One Exceptional Life Facebook page. Join me there!